Hi how are you? It’s been a while.

I’ve been spending the last few months getting to know Dragon. Dragon and I were introduced by an excellent OT called Fran Smith. My equally excellent GP recommended Fran when I decided it wasn’t worth waiting for the DHB to deliver something useful (more grumbling on that note later).

Fran specialises in back-to-work assistance, and is very much focused on what her clients can do. So, for example, I can sit upright or partially reclined, in a comfortable chair, for a certain amount of time. Based on that, we have developed a “work” set up using my couch and various cushions. She also put me in touch with a clever optometrist from Tawa, who has designed an ungainly but effective device to hold a laptop or monitor in any position. It took us a while to figure out that typing was a no-go. Even with specialised keyboards, it seemed that it was too much to ask of my shoulders. Here’s where Dragon comes in.

Dragon is a piece of software which enables its user to input text through a microphone headset and look just like Christina Aguilera. It’s very clever. And very, very frustrating. When I first started using it, I felt like I was trying to use a computer in a different language. No matter how well I enunciated (N Nuncio Ted), every word seemed to play Chinese Whispers before it got to the page. My cursor seemed like a little kid trying to piss off its parents, doing the exact opposite of what I had requested. All the windows seemed haunted, popping up and disappearing at will. I wasn’t sure it was worth pursuing this relationship.

Six months later, Dragon and I are getting on all right. Mostly. We’ve come to a compromise: I use a mouse for pointing and clicking, and speak the rest. Dragon understands me a lot better now, and I’m learning to tolerate its stubborn nature. There are definitely times when it’s just easier to click out each letter with the on-screen keyboard. You gotta know how to pick your battles.

I hate it sometimes, but with Dragon I can finally see myself working again. I can actually imagine myself in an office, talking in monotone, repeating myself, spelling out words, annoying my colleagues. Contributing. Engaging. Being paid. For that, I’m willing to build all kinds of bridges.